Asrai Devin

Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.” ― Sylvia Plath

the meaning of sex


I have been reading Gabrielle Bernstein‘s books Spirit Junkie and May Cause Miracles.

Staying connected to love is harder than it seems.

I started wondering how I could apply inner guidance, choosing love over fear and being present to sex.

Biologically, I understand sex. Physical pleasure and the need to reproduce (even if modern technology has taken away that option).

Spiritually and emotionally I struggle. I know lots of people say sex is an physical extension of love.  But it seems in present, modern times, sex is anything but.

So much of our culture and of our energy is wrapped up in the pursuit of sex. Controlling it, labelling it, getting it.

People use it as a weapon. Rape, forced prostitution, the constant fight women have to control their reproduction, withholding sex.

Sex is used as a tool. To get pregnant, to numb out the pain, to get closer to someone.

Sex sometimes has a case of mistaken identity. Mistaking sex for love or intimacy or any form of caring.

Sex is dirty. Hot. Sweaty. Sexy. Stolen. Fun. Taken. Shared.

Sex is power. Virginity pacts, reproduction arguments, slut shaming, taking, forcing, coercing. master and slave relationships.

Sex is fantasy. Porn, beer commercials, and romance novels. (Yes, I write romance novels, but it’s a fantasy the guy who will fulfill you emotionally AND sexually AND intellectually AND …). Not to mention those ever revovling Cosmo magazine covers promising to teach you the newest trick to keep a man satisfied in bed (guys magazines do not have the opposing article Forget that horse shit.).

Sex is labelled. It’s only okay if you do it a certain way, want it a certain way. Kink, extra partners, and anal sex enthusiasts need not apply.

Sex is no longer special, no longer saved, no longer on a pedestal. It could be good or bad, depends on how you view it. And yet women still lack equality. Women are still shamed for having sex for their own personal pleasure (if I get into one more abortion debate where some bitch says “you opened your legs,” I will lose my shit.).
I don’t know how I feel about sex. I enjoy it on the physical level. I have been forced, I have been used, I have been hurt.
What I do know is how I’ve been told I should feel about sex.
Thoughts. Debate in the comments?

(Note: This post was much better. I scheduled it to be posted and then decided to add some pictures. Something went fucking wrong and more than half was lost and I was on a really good roll. I tried to capture what I had originally written, but it was lost. I shed tears, the post had amazing flow.)

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