Edit: For those of you who keep finding my blog my searching “canning in Fifty Shades of Grey”:
1: Canning is a method of food preservation. Not sure if Ms. James has misspelled caning or if people are adding in an extra ‘n’ themselves.
2. Caning is a BDSM practice where the dom beats the sub with a cane. Searching ‘caning’ and you’ll get some better results. In fact, http://lmgtfy.com/?q=caning+in+50+shades+of+grey
Someone in my extensive twitter world tweeted a link to recap of Fifty Shades of Gray. Since I refuse to pay $10 for Fan Fiction, when I can read enjoyable Dragon Age Fan Fiction for free, and I was pretty sure I would dislike this book. Though I’d probably love it as much as I hate it. Anyway, I was interested.
I noticed the title of the blog first
Sweater for days and moves like Jagger.
This is important to me because my son is OBSESSED with Moves Like Jagger. When it turns off he whines, “Mommy Jagger, Mommy, Jagger” until I change it or he forgets the song was ever on.
I love making fun of things, even things I love like Twilight. Which I wrote about sometime in the past or future. Anyway here are some of her astute comments on the first Chapter of 50 Shades of Grey.
Dear Non-American Author trying to write in Americanisms: It’s either “floor it” or “put the pedal to the metal”. And actually, no one says the latter anymore. By the way, she’s flooring it to the pedal in a Mercedes loaned to her by Kate. A Mercedes, and she’s still bitching? Her car, a quirky, old vehicle (but not a quirky, old truck) is unreliable, like a quirky, old truck. But it’s a VW Bug, so she’s definitely not Bella Swan. Still, there is something endearing about reading an non-American author trying to capture the slang of my people.
I read a book once where an British woman fell for an American guy and at some point before they fell into bed, she was taken to his house late at night or early morning because a tragedy befell her. I don’t recall. I do recall the guy saying he was going to “cook a few rashers of bacon.” I laughed my ass off and the book was ruined after that. Americans would NEVER say rasher of bacon, I really don’t even know what it means. I assumed strips. but anyway, this is why I write contemporary novels set in Canada, can’t fall out of character, can’t screw up colloquialisms.
When she shakes his hand, Ana has some kind of short circuit situation that makes her blink like a malfunctioning Furby.
After you read the first chapter (especially the part about his tie) scroll onto to Chapter 2 for the visual. Laying on the floor laughing.
I couldn’t even get through Chapter 4 in one sitting because it hurt my brain. Hopefully the smut comes soon. I need to know how epic the smut is.