Asrai Devin

Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.” ― Sylvia Plath

Sex and public consumption


My sister in law’s son was selling magazines. She subscribed to Time ’cause it was a “really good deal” and now she’s giving me the magazine after she reads it. I was flipping through and in a side bar, because there isn’t enough news going on, they had a quick account of all the men Taylor Swift has dated. I don’t really follow the going’s on of Taylor Swift for several reasons.

I remarked to my husband that I was surprised at some of the names. John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal. “Aren’t they a little old for her?”

And he says “yeah on the radio they talk a lot about how much of a Ho she is.”

This isn’t the first time I’ve come across this recently and I am sick of it. Recently somewhere it was stated that she broke up with her latest boyfriend, a British chap, because he wasn’t circumcised and she was pressuring him to get cut.

I flipped out a little. Just a little.

1) Just because she has dated a lot of men, doesn’t mean she’s slept with them all.

2) Even if she has slept with them all that doesn’t make her a ho. What about these men? She’s a hell of a lot younger than them, doesn’t that make them predators?

3) Who she has a relationship with and what kind of relationship they have is no one’s business, but her and that person. She is 23 years old. She has been in the public eye since she was barely a teenager. She doesn’t need us all watching while she figures out who she is, who she wants in her life and how to express her sexuality.

Frankly none of this is our damned business.

I hate all this bullshit that is going on with people.

Young women are being bullied over and over and over for daring to show that they are sexual.

Young men are being bullied if they dare show they have respect for women by not viewing women as a sexual conquest to be won.

I’m tired of shame, judgement and bullies.

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  1. We (human beings in general) have a propensity for putting everything in a cubbyhole. We don’t stop to realize that most of us don’t like to be put into someone else’s cubbyhole. Bonnie Raitt suffers in popularity on the radio because she doesn’t like to be labeled as ‘Country’, ‘Rock’, ‘Folk’, etc. I agree that there is still gender bias, which I don’t like. There is also a lot of celebrity chasing, most of which is the public’s doing. If we didn’t have this morbid curiosity about the lives of our celebrities, they wouldn’t be hounded the way they are; neither would there be the media hype surrounding celebrities’ lives. It’s bad enough that we make value judgments about people we know. Who am I to judge someone else? I have at least a many faults as the person I seek to judge. The standard I use on others is the same standard I will be held to. Shame most of us don’t think of that we make judgmental statements!

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