Romance is about the extraordinary.
Romance is about ideals.
Not the fantasy world where your partner is some combination of Magic Mike and Christian Grey and Johnny Depp (or whoever your ideal mate is. Mine is a video game character.)
Our ideals can never live up to what is in our heads. How often do our Hollywood Heroes fail us? Jude Law, Bill Cosby, Johnny Depp.
Mari Ruti advises in her book “The Case for Falling in Love” how to idealize your partner in a good way, in a way that doesn’t turn them into unattainable ideal.
It is looking for those qualities in our partners that made us fall in love in the first place. And once you find them again, focus on them. A little.
Too much emphasis and you move into unattainable fantasy.
And it’s not just our partners who need a romantic treatment.
It is our home, our job, our friends, and ourselves who can benefit.
Have you let clutter hide the parts of your house that you love?
Have you let the parts of your job drag you down and overshadow what drew you to the work in the first place?
Are there dreams in yourself you’ve forgotten? Have you dressing for other people? Have you done something for yourself this day? This week? This month? This year?