Asrai Devin

Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.” ― Sylvia Plath

Judging is easy


I wanted to write a series of posts about parenting and my views. I’m a pro-attachment parent or maybe better to say responsive parent, we don’t do cry it out and we co-sleep (still) and breastfeed and my baby was rarely set down because he hated being on his back and he wouldn’t sleep without me for five months. And lots of things. And I’m very strongly against spanking.

And I wanted to write this post, and it was kind of a “why you are a horrible person if you spank” type post. Which is an opinion. and I feel that my opinion is the right one and shaming people who don’t agree is okay.

Then I was reading my RSS feed and someone wrote a scathing post about people living on the welfare system and they labelled three illnesses or disease that could be faked so that someone could use the welfare system. Bipolar, multiple sclerosis and fibromyalgia.

And it really pissed me off, because I know people with these conditions. They don’t want to have them, and they have no choice but to rely on assistance of others, whether government or a partner.

I wrote a really nasty reply and then as I read it over, I deleted it and said “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

It is easy to make judgments of others. And I will sometimes readily admit to judging people who make choices I believe are wrong.

There’s that meme on Facebook that makes me want to gouge my eyes out, but it’s true here.

he Girl you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs. The Boy you called stupid, he has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night. The Girl you called ugly? She spends hours putting make-up on hoping people will like her. The Boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. There’s a lot more to people then you think.

Making fun of or judging any group of people is not nice, it’s not funny and it’s generally just passive-aggressive or in my blog example above, just plain mean. Unless the person is  your close friend, we generally don’t know the true story behind anyone’s life.

And we wonder why bullying is such a problem in school, when so many adults are still doing it!!

What examples do you have of bullying in your life? Do you find yourself in judgement of others? What can we do to bring this to more people’s attention?

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  1. I think often we have to take a breath, remind ourselves that most people have good intentions and try to put ourselves in others’ shoes. It’s not easy, but I agree with you: it’s important.

  2. I think August is right. So not easy, but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes it’s my own issues filtering and I hear judgment. But of course, there are those that just flat out do it. I don’t want to be like them. Great food for thought Asrai.

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