Most of us have experienced tragedy.
Sometimes it’s shared tragedy, school shootings, terrorist attacks, war, torture, and everything else.
Sometimes it’s personal, losing a loved one, receiving a negative diagnosis of the body,or of the mind.
News articles are full of these stories. Most of them are impersonal, they don’t touch our hearts and souls. But once in a while, something happens so deep that we don’t know what to do with those negative feelings.
We get scared. It could have been us? We can’t cope with this new reality.
We get sad, deeply sad. How can we go on with the new reality?
We get angry. Why did this happen? Someone has to pay for this.
We spend hours reading the finer details, trying to find answers. We want to find someone to blame. Some where to put those horrible feelings.
There is no reason that it happened to you or me or to the ‘them’ it happened with. Sometimes, there is a human face attached, but attacking said face, doesn’t help those feelings go away, nor does the attack change the fact that tragedy has occurred.
There is no reason. There is no way to make it better. There is no quick fix for all those negative feelings.
Accepting them, noticing what happens, and experiencing them is the best way
to deal with them. Sometimes expressing them is what is best, cry to a friend. Sometimes, working on letting go of the feeling is the best choice, anger falls here in particular. Stewing in anger, expressing it to other people tends to feed your anger. Dr. Laura Markham says it better than I can on her blog: Should you express your anger?
Acceptance of your feelings. Empathy for yourself.
That’s how I suggest getting through a tragedy. Or even, in comparison, a minor hiccup in your life. You know those hiccups that ruin your day.